I sometimes feel like an alien

The deal with my history and background is that I have always (since I can remember) wanted to become a chartered accountant. I have always wanted to be successful and I have always strived to do my best in life. Since entering the corporate world I have wanted to be the top executive, powerhouse female with the corner office overlooking Sandton.

But in June 2012 I witnessed the most amazing miracle – the birth of my child – and everything changed. I gradually started realizing that I wasn’t put on this earth to be served, but to serve.

God spoke to me in January 2013 and I had this deep nudging of the Spirit to start The Grace Factory. Days and weeks have gone by and slowly I have stopped wanting those things I once desired and only want to help other people (it’s what I think of A LOT).

I’ve never really been praised for the work TGF does (except by my family, who have always made charity a fundamental part of our upbringing) but that never really mattered to me, as I’m so driven just by helping others, that mere thank yous are more than enough praise I ever deserve. I’m merely a vessel for God’s hand, He’s the one running TGF, I’m just obeying.

Then last week something extraordinary happened. I was filmed by a REAL production company for TEN hours to do a video about my charity. I was overwhelmed with a generous donation from FNB and the most heartfelt letter from FNB that I’ve read in a long time. All to thank me for the change I’ve made. It really made me feel that all this effort I have put in to try and change lives has been noticed. And it hasn’t been noticed by the corner bakery, it’s been noticed by one of SA’s leading banking institutions – me small town Sasolburg girl……

It’s really what I needed to keep me motivated and keep on trying to make a difference, no matter how small I think the difference is. I have been so disappointed by “friends” lately. I have been stabbed in the back – numerous times in the last few months. I hardly speak to my friends who started articles with me as they probably think I’m crazy (not chasing after the cash) and running my own CHARTITY? When “friends” speak about which car they are set to buy next, I just can’t even engage in the conversation, as it’s just not even on my radar. And then I work out how much they earn and I send them emails to ask to donate cash to TGF – ONE person replies – ONE? I get so annoyed with people who don’t “believe in charity” that I just feel like writing them off. Robin Sharma’s blog read “delete the energy vampires from your life”.

I have a handful of friends that I can relate to, as they get why I chose to serve others – for no ulterior motive or gain. But then I realize I’m the minority. I’m the one who changed, not them, they’ve stayed the same. And then yesterday my dear, wise Yoga (way of life, not form of exercise) friend and I were speaking and I asked her, won’t our children be the outcasts if we teach them that serving is the only way? Her exact words to me were “where do you think the Ghandi’s, Madiba’s and Mother Teresa’s of the world come from?” And then I decided just there and then, I will stop feeling sorry for myself about being judged by all my former friends. I will (try my VERY best) to stop judging other people about the fact that they don’t give. And I will continue MY purpose, to teach Erin that there is ONLY ONE goal on this earth – and that is to SERVE! She is after all my source and inspiration for TGF.

My angel girl, may you serve with an open heart. May you never judge others – as we are all walking our own path and writing our own set of exams. May you ALWAYS be as kind as you are and as sharing as you are (you always share your “weeties” and chips with your friends). May you one day be a revolutionary, caring, giving game changer of our era.


“The more generous we are, the more joyous we become. The more cooperative we are, the more valuable we become. The more enthusiastic we are, the more productive we become. The more serving we are, the more prosperous we become.”

William Arthur Ward

PS – I am not ungrateful for becoming a professional and I have learnt so much from the CA (SA) profession, I just truly believe in my heart I am no better than anybody else out there.



5 thoughts on “I sometimes feel like an alien

  1. Lots to think about in this post, mostly a challenge to me to give more. I salute you for the work you are doing. So chuffed for you about the video – looking forward to seeing that!


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